New update on MY LIFE

so here is gonna be a quick update on my life since i last wrote in JUNE....Went out of town for the 4th ended up goin ta jail for possession....lol got out that nite though! went ta the bar and then tha outhouse every weekend, Clarissa left me and chels at tha outhouse, that bitch is stupid. In august i found out that CLARISSA was calling my man all through july into august and my man had been "talkin or seein" this other girl since june at least...thats how far back his phone records go that show he was talking to her number! I was mad but then i think about all the stuff ive done and i cant get too mad!! karma is a bitch! I hate the lil bitch though and will make her life a living hell...which i do! :)) I got addicted to cocaine for a lil while and was doing it all the time! At work, home, out, in the car, everywhere i was addicted doing better now, still use sometimes but not all the time! So i ended up fuckin DEEJAY (DJ) and yes tha dick was good...not fire like ak but shit was good, fucked him twice in june/july and that was it....he calls me still and text wants ta fuck which so do i just at really inconvient times....dammit! lol I love some ak though, that nigga is a freak....first time i met him i was on x and we went back ta my parents house he ate my pussy, licked my ass and fucked! The dick was fire and he knew how ta eat some serious pussy!! He always tells me he wants me ta have his baby! haha yea right! nigga get real not wit you but you know a nigga and its in the heat of the moment. then a couple of years went by about 2 1/2 3 years and we ended up fuckin again but this was unplanned at the outhouse in the parking lot, kinda spontanious it was a lot of fun! Then theres chop...he will always come over and try in fuck but there also at weird times so i say NO....but his dick is fire been fuckin him for about 4 1/2 years now...he jus be puttin in to much work sometimes lol really tryin ta hurt you! lmao!! I never did end up fuckin around wit yoda this summer though which is a good thing! im proud of myself...i've had his dick before i mean its good but all he did when he fucked was tell me he loved me..which i know he didnt, i didnt love him i guess it was alrite at that moment in time but kinda chessy! lol There was also this one time when i was in 11th grade when i fucked this boi damein and he was TERRIBLE! he moaned tha entire time sayin how good it was and this and that and i didnt even moan once! i was like come on now! hurry up get down, get tha fuck off me! haha Dante i fucked around wit for about 4 years and i really liked that man! We had a real connection with each other, we first fucked in my truck and then at my parents house, he would always stay the night i loved tha way my sheets smelt like his colgene when he left, we fucked at their apartment, his uncles house, in his car, at my house, on the floor, in the bed, in the back of the car, standing up, sitting down, laying down, from the back, he never used a condom always nutted in me and told me he didnt care if i got pregnant...stupid now i know but at the time i really liked/had love for him and will always....i think about him all the time... so now back to the recent events in my life and not past lovers....I was using x really bad the past 3 months, every weekend would take a couple each nite...i love the feeling never wanted to come down off the high...i do lead a life of destruction i use cocaine, x, smoke weed, drink and smoke a stick all in one nite...i mean look at that something is wrong there! all those things in one night...crazy we go ta a lot of parties, go ta tha bar all the time or get ridicuously drunk! haha I work and party I LOVE my friends right now..i got rid of clarissa and do not talk ta her anymore, she has said sorry many times and i have forgave her but i will never forget! Sometimes i think i wanna be friends again but then i think about the example i have to set for others...You cannot mess w/ something that is mine and think im going to be ok with it! cuz im not...It would give others the thought that i let it slide wit my friend once so i will let it slide again and the real thing would be that i never let it slide to begin wit! If we were friends all i would do is wonder what or who she is doin when shes not around me, if she gets a text or call when im around her and doesnt answer it or act all weird and suspicous about it, or makin sneaky calls, at tha end of tha night when she tries ta run off where is she going....theres no TRUST...friendship is built on trust first not love...My friends now mean a lot to me and i have known mostly all of them since highschool....All the people who i met after highschool havent been the best or should i say the greatest friend or friends that they could be...When i had done nothing wrong to them. They have me asking myself all kinds of questions like...what did i do to them to make them do this to me? why me? how could she? what made her first call him? what did they talk about? do i really know everything? DID anything happen? what if their both lyin? How do i know? Thats why i could never forget what has happened! I will forgive but not forget!! It has made me a stronger person though and for this i am thankful. I feel like i can bare a lot of pain and have a lot of strength. Me and my friend bri ended up messin around one night and YES my man was here...and NO he didnt join! lol it was alrite and were still good friends havent messed around wit her again but neways I feel like me and chyna are gettin a lot closer...i love my chyna doll :) we have talked about messin around and havin a threesome w/ her partner and then w/ mine...i dunno though hasnt happened yet we bought a double ended dildo and a starp on! haha the strap on is weird and to me it sure doesnt feel like a real dick! but anyways i wanna whoop fat ass kerri's ass and her sis emily i cant stand them bitches!! new years is coming along wit my birthday!! i'm excited ...one of my best friends is pregnant! I'm super excited for her except a lil disappionted she cant go out on new years and my birthday! I miss her soo much though! I'm tryin ta get all my info and forms filled out to go back to school exccited but nervous all my girls are suppose to be goin so it should be good!! super excited for the college life! ready for the weekend! more to come later--------------->>>